Beautifully Cold
by ChristiScribbles
Summary: 'I hate you.' Rachel made a promise to herself a long time ago. She was protecting her heart. Blaine came along and could make her well thought out plan hard to stick too. 'No you don't.' She likes him. He likes her as well and is going to break her wall.


_Everybody wants happiness, and nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow, without a little rain. _~ Zion Lee

* * *

><p>"He's crazy about you. You should stop denying it," my best friend Kurt told me. "He's a nice guy and he's not going to wait around forever. Give Blaine a chance."<p>

"I don't care, he is nice. But I don't see him that way. Dating brings too much drama, so even I If was interested in Blaine, I wouldn't date him. I've never seen a healthy, loving relationship and I really don't think it's a great idea to start something when I've only ever seen failure. I'm not ready to date or to love. I refuse to give my heart to somebody, who will only stomp on it later."

"You're scared and that's normal, but if you don't do this you are always going to be at the sidelines watching life pass you by. You'll have nothing but regret," he continued to lecture.

"Just stop. I'm not talking about this. I'm not ready to date, so leave it Kurt. And stop judging me," I tried not snap. He didn't understand, his parents have been married for nineteen years.

I met Kurt when we were six, he moved in the house two doors down from mine. We've been best friends since. He's nine months and eight days younger than I am, so we ended up being in different grades since I was the youngest in my grade already. His older brother Finn is almost a year older than me, we've had the exact same classes and teachers since seventh grade. It's rather annoying, and even more that the whole student body thinks we are dating. We are just friends. Finn is a total flirt and he's sweet, but he's like my brother. I'll admit that he's great looking, but the thought of me and him is just so gross.

I'm not some recluse or anything; I have friends and I flirt with guys. I laugh and I have fun. I just don't date; I like my heart being in one piece. After seeing my mom's getting broken into tiny piece after tiny piece, I would like mine to stay whole. My friends think I am crazy, Kurt especially. But he's been in love with the same boy since we were eight. I'm almost envious; his parents perfect relationship, he's been with the same person since he was twelve years old. He doesn't know heartbreak. And sometimes I want to date and I want to kiss, I want the fore mentioned fairytale ending; I want to be normal and some days I come close to giving in. I come to my senses every time though and breathe in relief.

Maybe you think I'm crazy, but I call it being smart.

"I got to get to class. See you at lunch Rach," Kurt walked off. I made him mad and I hate it, but part of me doesn't care. I hate when he tries to pressure me into dating; I don't want to be hurt.

**0000**

"Anybody in there? Rachel?" I smiled, Blaine's here.

"Sorry, just thinking," I brushed it off.

"Must be some pretty heavy stuff. Your late for class ya know," he smiled brightly. I'm glad he didn't push me into telling what I was thinking.

"Just Advanced Bio. And not to mention, the bell rang like a minute ago. It's not like I'm skipping, I'm on my way right now. From the looks of it Mr. Anderson, you aren't in class either. The whole pot kettle thing applies quite well," I smiled wider; that kind of smile where your stomach is all jitters and you can't help but bite your bottom lip.

"That's where you are wrong Rachel, I think you are skipping. I think you are going to the empty, quiet beach with me. Late fall is the best time for it," he smirked and continued looking at me. Everybody knows the look of which I speak of, the look that sees right through a person and into the soul. The look that captures you completely.

"That's news to me," I folded my lips inward, trying to keep from smiling. It seems almost impossible.

His smile faded. "Oh come on," his eyes twinkle.

"I don't know," I pretended to ponder.

"I'll beg, I'm not against it."

"Sure you will," I smiled, calling his bluff.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he got down on his knees and looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes. "Please, please. Come to the beach with me. I won't throw you in, I promise. Please. Pretty please," he blinked and my heart fluttered. "Pweese come to the beach with me."

"You are terrible Blaine," my cheeks could burst from how hard I was smiling.

"You know you want to come with me and I'll follow you around on my knees until you give in. I am really persistent. You might as well admit defeat now and save us time," his eyes feigned innocence.

I couldn't stop smiling; he was too cute and he knew it. "Fine, but if I get into trouble I am ratting you out. I hate you," I crossed my arms in mock annoyance.

"No you don't," he smirked at me and finally got off his knees. "Now let's go," he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the school.

"I want to drive. My car," I stated as we made our way through the student parking lot.

"No, that car looks and sounds like a death trap. I like living, so we'll take my car that I will drive. Only I drive my baby," he said bluntly.

I gasped in mock horror. "How dare you speak of the Shatmobile in such horrendous ways."

"The Shatmobile?" He questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah. Shat, past tense of shit, rhymes with bat. Don't hate," he let go of my hand and I ignored the tingling feeling left behind.

"Suurrre," he smiled and unlocked his car, "I don't think that the past tense of shit is a real word though."

"You're not a real word," a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

"Ooh ouch, burn," he gripped the fabric of his shirt that was over his heart. "How old are you?"

"Nine," I opened the passenger door and slipped into the seat as he started his 'precious baby'. "You're so cool you hang with nine year olds."

My phone beeped; I received a text message.

"You know it," he pulled out of the lot.

**1 message received  
>from Kurt<br>Open Ignore**

_**Finn says u not in class. Where u at?** _

"Oh no you don't," Blaine smiled and grabbed my phone before I had the chance to reply. "I get you all to myself."

"You can't do that," I grabbed for my Virginmobile Samsung Restore. He chuckled and turned it off and tossed it behind him, the back seat.

"I just did. What now?" He challenged, looking at me.

"Eyes on the road bucko. You called my car a death trap and said we weren't taking it 'cause you like living. I don't really want to die in your car either," I continued to look right back at him.

"Oh Machel," he ruffled my hair, "I am an excellent driver."

"Hey," I dodged his hand, "it takes a lot of effort to make my hair look like this."

Blaine just grinned.

I turned my head and looked at him again, "Machel?"

He shrugged, his smile grew. "M, R. Same thing."

"Okay someone needs to go back to Kindergarten class," I murmured.

"What was that Ms. Berry?" He acted all serious.

"You hair is too perfect."

"Well, yeah. I'm awesome," he stated matter-of-factly.

I thought it wasn't possible to smile this much. "In your own mind maybe," he shot me a glare with that sparkle present in his eyes.

I couldn't stop myself; I messed up his perfect curls.

He looked in the review mirror. "My hair," he tried to feign annoyance, but the tone in his voice gave him completely away. He chuckled. "I can't believe you had the balls to do that. Nobody ever tries to touch my hair."

I couldn't stop the smile that played at my lips, "You are such a girl Blaine."

"If I'm a girl, I hope that means you're a boy."

"Yeah, I don't think so." I shook my head, "the whole penis situation."

He looked at me in amusement. "Is Rachel coming out of the closet?"

My eyes widened and a deep shade of red crept into my cheeks. "What? No! I meant."

He chuckled, "you are so adorable when you're flustered."

"Oh shut up," I slapped his arm and he raised an eyebrow. "I am not gay; I just meant that I don't think I could live with boy parts. I mean, how does it not get squished?" I trailed off, even more embarrassed than before.

Blaine just laughed, "you are too funny."

"Oh my God," I put my face in my hands.

The car came to a stop and he turned it off. "We are here my little tomato."

"Ha ha, funny."

He pulled at the shoulder of his shirt. "I know. Beach ho!" He pointed forward and grabbed my hand, heat rose in my face.

I chuckled. Beach ho? "It's too cold to swim or whatever."

"And exactly when did I say we were going to swim?" He looked back at me with that stupid amazing grin of his and I almost forgot how to breathe.

"And exactly why are we here- It's beautiful," I exclaimed. I had never been to the beach this time of the year, it is November after all. It was unpolluted by people and noise. The traffic of footprints and toys in the sand left over from the past summer's events had diminished and the sun's dull shine made this spot look more than perfect.

"It's amazing right?" He asked me quietly, his eyes searching mine for the answer.

I nodded; a shy smile appeared on my lips.

"It makes me think of you. "Quiet and amazing and beautiful, undiscovered and unrefined. I wanted to show you," pink tinted his cheeks.

"It is," I paused, not really knowing the feeling that was filling me up, "amazing. Thanks for showing me."

"I'm glad you like it," we started walking along the length of the beach and we asked questions about one another, taking in the learned information.

"Job?" I asked, he was from the better part of town. I doubt he has a job, but I asked the question anyways.

"New Dreams Publishing, I'm just an assistant in the summer and the mail room on the weekends during the school year, but I get an inside look and I learn a lot. And surprisingly the pay is great," he scoffed.

"I cannot believe you work and New Dreams! Are you going into publishing?" I was practically speechless, he had my dream job.

"Not if I can help it. My father insists that I take over the family business, so he's forcing me to work there. It's not bad though."

"Holy shit."

"What?"

"Your family owns New Dreams Publishing? That must be so amazing."

"Not really, I hate it. What about you, do you have a job?" He changes the subject, and obviously it a sore spot so I leave it.

"Waitress at Pizza Hut, after graduation I'm getting the managing position." I told him.

"You aren't going to college?" The dreaded question.

"I got early acceptance into NYU actually, but I can't afford it and with the out of state pricing and my mom's horrible credit, I can't get any bank loans and the grants won't be enough. The school only gave me partial financial aid. So I'm gonna take the higher position at Pizza Hut and eventually take some online classes." He didn't look at me with pity or disdain, he just listened.

"I don't know what to say. At least you're going to make the best of it. It's good you're keeping your head high," he smiled at me and bumped his hip into mine.

"What about you? You don't want to go into publishing; what does Blaine want to do with his life?"

"Produce. I want to be a music producer. I seem to be good at it and I actually enjoy it," he pushed his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans.

"I can see that," I nodded.

He smiles at me, "look over there!"

I look in the direction he's pointing, "what? I don't see a thing."

He chuckled and hopped on my back. I staggered to control the weight of another on my back.

"I wanted a piggy back ride," he stated casually. "Onward my loyal steed," he demanded, his voiced filled with laughter.

"I could just drop you; you weigh like a gazillion pounds," I smirked.

"But you won't, because I have faith in you. Now mush!"

"I hate you," I started to walk slowly.

"No you don't," he stated oh-so-sure of himself.

"Shouldn't you be giving me the piggy back ride? I am the girl after all," I grumbled.

"In the car you told me I was a girl," he mocked.

"Oh shut up," he laughed. "You aren't a girl Blaine."

"What was that?" Like he really couldn't hear me, the jerk.

"You are not a girl Blaine!" I yelled, turning my head ever so slightly so it was in his ear.

He cringed. "Of course I am not a girl. I'm glad you realize that now," I could tell he was grinning.

"Hush. Are you going to get off my back now?" I tried not to smile; it wasn't working so well for me.

"I don't know. I'm pretty comfortable right here," he teased.

"You big oaf, I can barely walk. I didn't realize I'd be forced to do slave labor when I let you kidnap me."

He just laughed at me. Jerk with the beautiful smile.

"I hate you," I said trying not to smile.

"No you don't."

After movement on both our parts, we fell. Somehow, I ended up on my back with him on top of me. He just grinned, a certain gleam in his eyes.

"I. You," I trailed off. Blaine was looking at me intensely.

We just stared at each other, neither of us moving or speaking. My cheeks heat up and I bit my bottom lip nervously.

His eyes flickered to my mouth stayed focused there.

"Blaine," I spoke quietly.

"Yeah?" He asked just as softly through his smile.

I didn't say anything, I watched his mouth in the same way he was watching my mine. He leaned in. I couldn't believe this was happening, I turned my head. His lips landed softly on my cheek and lingered for a few moments.

"Shot down," he looked at me grinning. He clearly wasn't mad, but there was a tone of sadness in his voice.

I looked at him, amazed by him. "I. You scare me."

His eyes widened and he scrambled off of me. "I- Sorry. I wasn't trying to. I didn't mean. I'm sorry," he rushed.

I sat up. "Maybe that came out wrong," I looked down at my hands, my voice becoming tiny. "I trust you."

"I'm confused now," he sat down beside me. "I scare you, or you trust me?"

I sighed, wishing I didn't say anything at all. "You scare me because I trust you," I looked at him. His face softened.

"That makes no sense Rachel."

"I don't people, anyone. Kurt's family is about the closest I've come to trusting anybody, but they've done so much for me. But you, I trust so completely and easily. It scares me," I told him truthfully.

"I'm sorry that scares you, but I'm glad. Because you can trust me. You know that right?"

"Yeah. I just- I don't know.

"Maybe there is more to you being scared than the fact that you trust me. Maybe you are scared be-"

"Hey! Look at that cloud," I point at a random cloud, "it looks like a turtle." It didn't. I couldn't bear to hear the next words from his mouth.

"It's a pig, not a turtle," he chuckled. I sighed in relief; maybe he'll leave it now.

I lay down in sand and he lied next to me, slight space between us.

"A tree," I pointed.

He sighed. "A duck," I just pretended that the disappointment wasn't in his voice.

"Oh my God, it's the Shatmobile!" I squealed and Blaine started laughing. My heart fluttered

"I still can't believe you named your car that," he smirked.

"Okay, Mister Smartass, what is your car's name?"

"Lucy," he stated smugly.

"So creative," I muttered sarcastically.

"At least mine isn't a made up word." His smile reached his eyes and I thought I might explode.

I pointed again, "Bart Simpson's head."

"That would be Lisa. You aren't good at this."

"Your face isn't good at this."

"This again? How old are you?" He laughed, that twinkle in his eyes.

"I thought we established that I was nine."

"How could I forget?" He rolled his eyes at me.

I smiled and sighed. Why couldn't always be this easy?

**0000**

I felt two warm fingers drumming on my cheek. I opened my eyes and realized my head was resting on Blaine's shoulder, he grinned at me. The red rose into my cheeks quickly. "You're up, we should get going. School's over in forty-five."

I sat up and looked at him; it had been a long time since I slept so peacefully. "How long was I out?"

"Not quite an hour," he held his right hand out to help pull me up.

"Sorry, you could've woke me up," I grabbed his hand.

"Nah, it is fine. You were beat and needed sleep. After a few minutes you curled into me, you got cold. I got some good cuddle time," he spoke softly, that adorable grin present on his face.

"Well," my cheeks tinged pink.

"Let's get going," he laughed and swung his arm freely over my shoulder.

I just looked at him, grinning shyly. He opened the car door for and shut it after I was seated.

"Can't believe the day went by that fast. I guess time goes by quickly when you're in good company," he chuckled lightly.

"Right, the day went by fast; I'm sorry I fell asleep. Maybe you were just that boring at the end," I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, that's not it. I'm the least boring person you'll ever meet," he stated cockily.

I laughed. "Okay, someone lied to you."

"I am offended," he gasped, a huge smile tugging at his lips.

I pouted, "poor you".

He looked at me, a strange look filling his eyes.

My smirk disappeared. "What?"

"Nothing at all," he stated almost silently.

The rest of the ride was silent. At first it was the awkward, not knowing what to say kind of quiet; than it became comfortable and it frightened me. I had avoided feeling like this for eighteen years and now just the thought of the guy next to me sent my heart in overdrive. I barely knew Blaine at all, but in a matter of a couple months, he was all I thought about. I hated it. I've had crushes before, I am human not some robot, but not anything this intense. It was beginning to scare me something ridiculously; it seemed to be growing stronger and it was harder to keep pushing it all away. I had too. I couldn't risk my heart, not even for someone amazing like Blaine. That's how it always starts, one seemingly sweet guy. He ends up breaking your heart and you fall apart; when you finally pull yourself together, you start the whole endless cycle again. Just to keep getting your heart broken over and over. I can't do that. I won't do that.

"We're here Rachel," he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Oh," I chuckled nervously. "I guess I got lost in my thoughts." I opened my door and stepped out. "Thanks for the day, it was really fun." He shut his door.

"You are welcome," he smirked. "Your phone," he handed it to me. He even turned it on.

I smiled.

"I knew you two disappeared together. Ha! I was right Finn!" Kurt bragged.

"Hey, I never said I disagreed. I just didn't obsess, unlike you. Just damn Kurt," he shook his head.

"Settle down Kurt, it's nothing."

"It was fun," Blaine said snidely, grinning widely at me.

I smiled back, but I knew he could tell that I was faking it.

"You have some major explaining to do Rach," Kurt squealed.

"Joy," Finn muttered.

I didn't say anything, my phone chirped.

**1 message received  
>from Blaine A<br>Open Ignore**

_**Im not sure what has you so scared, but you cant deny youre feelings forever.**_

I turned and look at him; he looked at me and just smiled politely.

My phone chirped again.

**1 message received  
>from Blaine A<br>Open Ignore**

_**Ya know, i like you too.**_

Those six little words scared the crap out of me, but they made me smile as well. When I looked up from my phone he was walking back to his car, with what seemed like a little spring in his step.

"Hey, you coming? Or you wanna stand there in La La Land all day?" Kurt smirked.

I turned and started walking towards my best friend. "Yeah, I'm coming. Just hold your horses," I grinned widely, feeling the happiest I've ever been.

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><p><strong>A one-shot based on my wish for a straight Blaine, just some fluff!<strong>

**Please review!**


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